Wednesday, November 3, 2010.
curveballs.
things i've realized within the past two hours:
so yea, sunday night [[halloween]] sucked. why did he have to be there? getting drunk wasn't such a good idea. he kept calling me a bitch and that brought me back to...middle school? beginning of high school? when the guys knew that was my pet peeve, and would keep calling me that word. it hurt. but maybe i deserved it that night. but then i got taken back to the night i lost my wallet in the park after my high school graduation when _____ started freaking out. fell asleep on the stairs in the cold outside of the apartment. slept on the couch in the middle of comforting her.
&now, i'm sure i'm subconsciously stressing myself out over something....i will wait a little while longer before a full-fledged freak-out, though. i promised myself that.
i dunno. i thought i got it in the bag last week. whatever that means. life was good, i was happy. &confident. [[a little stressed out over class, but i still knew that once i got past that hurdle, life would be awesome.]] funny, the curveballs that life throws at you randomly. right? but it's ok, 'cause you just have to make the most of it. plus, you never know when life will throw another [[good]] curveball at you!
still, things to be happy about:
* he made me feel horrible. we weren't//aren't compatible at all. we both act like such little kids around each other: oh, you hurt me? watch me hurt you back even more.
* why the hell do i make myself out to be such a slut around him?
* i was stupid to think i could ever "fix" things between us. i just get all irrational.
and last but not least....
* i need to work on shading with colored pencils!!!
so yea, sunday night [[halloween]] sucked. why did he have to be there? getting drunk wasn't such a good idea. he kept calling me a bitch and that brought me back to...middle school? beginning of high school? when the guys knew that was my pet peeve, and would keep calling me that word. it hurt. but maybe i deserved it that night. but then i got taken back to the night i lost my wallet in the park after my high school graduation when _____ started freaking out. fell asleep on the stairs in the cold outside of the apartment. slept on the couch in the middle of comforting her.
&now, i'm sure i'm subconsciously stressing myself out over something....i will wait a little while longer before a full-fledged freak-out, though. i promised myself that.
i dunno. i thought i got it in the bag last week. whatever that means. life was good, i was happy. &confident. [
still, things to be happy about:
* it's november. the start of a new month; new awesomeness!!
* mom's birthday is on friday. [[yep, i totally colored a forever friends picture for her &wrote "to: mommy <3kk" on it! made me feel like a little kid again. xD]] * i'm going home next week! to see 公公, 婆婆, &ivan! * i get to celebrate flo's birthday with the fam!
