Monday, November 8, 2010.
fall back.
stuff that i don't like:
stuff that made me happier:
yesterday, i went shopping at utc with tiffany &shira. got a red velvet dress from forever21. yes. seriously. it's going to be my new holiday dress, even though i really didn't think i'd like it. $12 well spent in my opinion. the guy who lived in the suite across from me last year was working the cash register; the guy with the "let it be" tattoo. for the record, his name is stefan.
i've been failing at beingcontinuously happy lately, but i'm trying. halloween weekend definitely sent me reeling off the track of awesomeness, but whatevs. so much different than halloween in santa cruz last year, huh? i'm hoping that having thursday off for verteran's day &then going home friday night will get me back on track. <3
* getting lost trying to find office hours &the cliffs.
* how i broke my mini tripod &lost the screw at the cliffs....
* almost having to hop a fence wearing flats.
* how the sun set before 5pm because of daylight savings.
* foundation for international medical relief of children at ucsd being a disappointment. X=
* walking around in the dark while freezing to death.
* my contact getting so dry that i blink it out of my eye.
* chem quiz tomorrow, &i haven't started studying.
stuff that made me happier:
* professor burgasser's two huge doggies; australian sherphard and a husky mix.
* prof b making me feel a little more confident over my independent project.
* taking a really awesome picture of the moon in its waxing crescent phase.
* BEN &JERRY'S! even though i've decided pistachio pistachio is not that yummy.
* lisa and shira making stir fry that hit the spot.
* mommy actually sending me a coherent text thanking me for her birthday card, complete with "can't wait 2 c u, 2" etc. (;
yesterday, i went shopping at utc with tiffany &shira. got a red velvet dress from forever21. yes. seriously. it's going to be my new holiday dress, even though i really didn't think i'd like it. $12 well spent in my opinion. the guy who lived in the suite across from me last year was working the cash register; the guy with the "let it be" tattoo. for the record, his name is stefan.
i've been failing at being
Saturday, November 6, 2010.
the pale blue dot.
happy carl sagan day! for those who have never heard of him, please google "pale blue dot" along with his name or something. his little speech is incredible...really puts things into perspective for me. it was based off an image taken from the outskirts of our solar system by voyager 1 based on a suggestion made by carl sagan himself.
this is an image of earth caught in the middle of a sunbeam. as carl sagan said, "from this distant vantage point, the earth might not seem of particular interest. but for us, it's different. look again at that dot. that's here, that's home, that's us. on it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives..." the speech goes on but i feel like it's best said in his voice.
with that said,yesterday sucked. got very little sleep the night before. i broke my favorite sunglasses with the giraffe print [[the ones that someone once complimented me on by saying "those glasses fit your face well". awkward compliments are still compliments. o_O]]. didn't finish my physics tutorial. i blanked out on how to do cross products of vectors during the calculus quiz, but remembered right after i gave up and walked out of class. i was just stressed out...
but the night got better when two of the guys who lived downstairs climbed up onto our balcony and just walked into our apartment. don't know why i never met them before; they're quite nice and sing well. haha.
well, i will now finish off with a list of things i should be doing:
this is an image of earth caught in the middle of a sunbeam. as carl sagan said, "from this distant vantage point, the earth might not seem of particular interest. but for us, it's different. look again at that dot. that's here, that's home, that's us. on it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives..." the speech goes on but i feel like it's best said in his voice.
with that said,
but the night got better when two of the guys who lived downstairs climbed up onto our balcony and just walked into our apartment. don't know why i never met them before; they're quite nice and sing well. haha.
well, i will now finish off with a list of things i should be doing:
* CONCENTRATE!!!!!!!!
* stop procrastinating!!!!!
Friday, November 5, 2010.
time, truth, &hearts.
stuff i did as of three hours ago:
stuff i still have to do tonight:
but i did realize that i actually like math...again. i liked it back at kumon when i understood everything, but that was years ago! and now, i likey math when i'm doing pretty well and understanding everything. [[i got 9/10 on my quiz last week even though i was sure i'd only get 5/10!]]
* two of three chapters of math homework on the quiz tomorrow.
* listen to "all these things things that i've done" by the killers on repeat for a bit.
=> it's how i figured out that line in the title!! why did i never pay attention to it before?
* talk to flo about her creeper[[s]].
* eat a whole thing of rolos.
* eat half of a milky way bar.
* fill out my global environmental brigades [[GEB]] application.
* find nothing particularly awesome on forever21.com.
* have lisa kill a bug that flew onto my desk.
* meet shira's mister friend.
* three-way call with flo to wish mommy a happy birthday!
stuff i still have to do tonight:
* physics online tutorial.even though it's now 3am. .___.
* research for physics project &write up.
* one more chapter of math homework.
* shower.
*sleeepybye!!!!!
but i did realize that i actually like math...again. i liked it back at kumon when i understood everything, but that was years ago! and now, i likey math when i'm doing pretty well and understanding everything. [[i got 9/10 on my quiz last week even though i was sure i'd only get 5/10!]]
Thursday, November 4, 2010.
have faith in me.
the lesson of today is simple:
because if you don't, how will you expect others to trust you?
plus, second-guessing yourself is a surefire way to kill your entire day. or two days. or three. ><" i need to stop doubting myself in "crucial" moments, to stop making up scenarios of how i could have screwed up when i should have been telling myself all along that everything is going to be okay in the end.
because if everything's not okay, then it's certainly not the end. remember? (;
trust yourself. believe in yourself. have faith in yourself.=>
plus, second-guessing yourself is a surefire way to kill your entire day. or two days. or three. ><" i need to stop doubting myself in "crucial" moments, to stop making up scenarios of how i could have screwed up when i should have been telling myself all along that everything is going to be okay in the end.
because if everything's not okay, then it's certainly not the end. remember? (;
Labels: life lessons
Wednesday, November 3, 2010.
curveballs.
things i've realized within the past two hours:
so yea, sunday night [[halloween]] sucked. why did he have to be there? getting drunk wasn't such a good idea. he kept calling me a bitch and that brought me back to...middle school? beginning of high school? when the guys knew that was my pet peeve, and would keep calling me that word. it hurt. but maybe i deserved it that night. but then i got taken back to the night i lost my wallet in the park after my high school graduation when _____ started freaking out. fell asleep on the stairs in the cold outside of the apartment. slept on the couch in the middle of comforting her.
&now, i'm sure i'm subconsciously stressing myself out over something....i will wait a little while longer before a full-fledged freak-out, though. i promised myself that.
i dunno. i thought i got it in the bag last week. whatever that means. life was good, i was happy. &confident. [[a little stressed out over class, but i still knew that once i got past that hurdle, life would be awesome.]] funny, the curveballs that life throws at you randomly. right? but it's ok, 'cause you just have to make the most of it. plus, you never know when life will throw another [[good]] curveball at you!
still, things to be happy about:
* he made me feel horrible. we weren't//aren't compatible at all. we both act like such little kids around each other: oh, you hurt me? watch me hurt you back even more.
* why the hell do i make myself out to be such a slut around him?
* i was stupid to think i could ever "fix" things between us. i just get all irrational.
and last but not least....
* i need to work on shading with colored pencils!!!
so yea, sunday night [[halloween]] sucked. why did he have to be there? getting drunk wasn't such a good idea. he kept calling me a bitch and that brought me back to...middle school? beginning of high school? when the guys knew that was my pet peeve, and would keep calling me that word. it hurt. but maybe i deserved it that night. but then i got taken back to the night i lost my wallet in the park after my high school graduation when _____ started freaking out. fell asleep on the stairs in the cold outside of the apartment. slept on the couch in the middle of comforting her.
&now, i'm sure i'm subconsciously stressing myself out over something....i will wait a little while longer before a full-fledged freak-out, though. i promised myself that.
i dunno. i thought i got it in the bag last week. whatever that means. life was good, i was happy. &confident. [
still, things to be happy about:
* it's november. the start of a new month; new awesomeness!!
* mom's birthday is on friday. [[yep, i totally colored a forever friends picture for her &wrote "to: mommy <3kk" on it! made me feel like a little kid again. xD]] * i'm going home next week! to see 公公, 婆婆, &ivan! * i get to celebrate flo's birthday with the fam!
